Every family could use more designated talk time.
How to get kids to open up with you through Talk Time.
I had a friend who used to have ‘pillow talk’ every night with each of her two boys. She said they shared more readily when it was just the two of them in a darkened room. They got in to the habit and she loved it, as I am sure her boys did. This was when she learned about deeper feelings or dreams and ideas. For my kids, it was often the drive home from school when I heard about the happy, sad or frustrating parts of their day. We were in a safe, quiet space and I was looking at the road rather than looking directly at them. I was a captive audience for thirty minutes.
Families have different schedules and comfort areas. It needs to work for you and your child and it needs to be a routine that allows for open, loving communication that will not be interrupted if at all possible. This is not the time for criticism or suggestions, it is the time to listen and understand. You can make suggestions tomorrow about today’s upsets or challenges. There may be times when it is better for Mom to be the one checking in and times when it is better if it is Dad or a caretaker. Or maybe one of you is better at the listening than the other one. It is worth figuring out and adding to your schedule so you get into the habit. Once your child sees it is a habit they open up even more. They trust that this is the time to share and they may share big or hard things because they trust that they will not be judged during this time, they will just be heard.